heavenlyphantom

Dr phil has been on the tv so much latley. he keeps being on larry king. talking about how you can see the warning signs of these kids, that go shoot people.
slkfjslj. he dosnt know.
well. maybe he dose.

i just took a shower and i have underwear and a towel. i just looked out the hallway and relized thattt, there a open window right there. taht people can look in.
the paper dilvery person is going to looook at me.
haha.

i like dont care enough to go shut my doooor.

k. now i'm watching vh1 top 20. and they are talking about carrie,mcphee and whats his face.
the guy that sings the song "ItSS nooOot OVErrr!"
i hate that song so fucking much.

so tonight, me and phantom had a amazing night on Ontd! we where like freaking out over clebirties phone numbers and emails leaking.

but then. i relized. at lest 500 other people where too. but i bet we where the only sodaks. lol.
i know i had more to say on this, but i like cant think.

i duno what to wear. i know i'll wear something comfy over there. and then change for the concert. but i duno what to wear that will be dress.
k. well i do. but i think maryola would get mad at me.
i just will never be able to get over leggings. they where cool in 1995 and now. i wore them in 95 and i'm giong to wear them now.
lol.

my hair is so fucking ugly. it needs to be dyed asap.
but i need aaron e for that. cuz he gave me the best highlights i've ever had.
i want like more blonde! or i want it a pretty brown.

dawsons creek is on tbs.

.....*watching*.....
..........
....
katie holmes. you are so boring. and you have really ugly bottom teeth. they are sick.
..these days she looks a LOT older, i dunno if its tommy or posh. i'm going to say both...and taking care of that baby of theres. lol.

oh well. even if she is 'controlled' by her hubby she is as bad of as Britney spears.
i love her.
or i did.
i feel bad for her.
but it dose look like she is looking wight.

omg. i just spend all night on ontd. and here i am typing a blog, and look i'm STILL gossipying about stupidness.

ok. real life.
today i'm going to vermillion to see  Kelsey Play in her  Senior Recital! i'll be gone abouttt 48 hours.
more driving/riding in the car then acaully being there. but i loooove road trips.
and i love kels. so i'm going
un like some people *cough*becca*coughhh*.

hahah. i'm watching this infomerical about a hottub/swiming in place thing.
lol i always wanted one of those little pools that lets you swim. its so funny to watch.
gawd. our hot tub has been dead for so long.

"one day everyone will have a hot tub"
uh...no. that true.
but whateva.

you know. if i got married i would so tottaly lose my wedding ring in the first year.
lol.
AHHHHHH

Fosters home for imaginary Frineds is on!






<3bitsy

all family are a LITTLE bit fucked up.


some or more, some are less.
my family. is like  famous in town. (spearfish that is). when people here the last name "Higbee" they i know my dad or my brothers. one or the other.
but my mom is always like "you are making us looook bad,blah blah blahhhhh". uh am i? cuz last i checked you are as famous as you claim to  be.

and anways. even if you are well known. dosnt mean you arn't fucked up.
the higs are shit talkers.
not to other people. but to each other. to other siblings. to other cousins to everyone. 
and also we keep secerets. 
and also people dont get along.

and also, everyone thinks i'm the bad kid  of the family. i'm the one to be judged. i'm the one who has 'bad' friends. i'm the one who dose the bad kid things. 
but am i really all that horrible!

nooo. no fucking way.

and it dosnt matterrrr if  i am the wost of all my grown up sociallight brothers. i dont wanna be that. not at allllll, thank you very much.
but i don think they all have problems.


mainly someone by the name of judith. lol well htats not really her name. but we will call her thato.
at one point. this person was mad at me for less then a year, because of a fight. she told me she would never talk t ome agian.
she did. 
its amazing i must say.
but her and another person (in my family) do not speak. and its stupid. because it hurts my other brothers and sister, and it hurts, there familys, but most of all it hurts my parents. 
like i might stress out the maryola time and time again. i dont think i'm as bad as theseeeeeeee people i speak of.
i really do not.
its so weird.
cuz its allll behind closed doors. no one knows. except a few.
and its just fucked up. cuz like. as i said, we are Famous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woohooo! but we are still so fucked up.
it makes me want to puke.


right now, i just asked my maryola about something kelsey told me, this road trip that judith might be taken. and i said "when is it, no one tells me anything."
maryloa says " oh its in june. so not for a while" *pause.pause.paouse*"why do you ask.? are you going to be nice this time?"
......
.........
.............
i say "WHAT?!"
 she says "well i heard you where mean last time"

ok. so this isn't the first time i've heard this.  i guess once  i was really mean to becca at one point. 
on a trip.
and i know once, when i was a child, i HATED going  on trips. i just like wanted to go home or something weird like that? 

but i know for a fact, right before i went to kansas LAST oct. i was worried to go because, it was the first trip i was going on with *cough* judith. and maryola said, "well i know last time you went some place with them, you where really mean"
at this time, it had been more then a year i had gone on any road trip with anyone! so i didnt remeber. but i sorta belived it. because i was..uh...lets just say 'fucked up' at that time.

but i know that i was trying VERY hard not to offened ANYONE when we went to kansas. i tried to not have opitions about stuff that i know MY FAMILY (not counting the phigfam) thought i was wack about.

and so today mom saying "you where mean" on the last road trip PISSED ME OFF.
i like sat there and was like...uh ok.
then she came back. i was like "what do you mean i was 'mean' what dose taht mean?!"
she was like "iiiii dooooonnnttt knoww whooo said iiit,but i think you need to act a little bit more grown up"
?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!!???!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

when she talkes all spacey like that. it means shes trying  to  be like 'oh i duno who said it but they said it' when its obouvisly JUDITH said it.

i hate being judged. most of all by her.
cuz what EVER i do it will always be looked down on. i hate shit talkers. i hate people who are like her.
lol.
who never acaully give a opiton on the things i do, but then go off together and talk about me. like wtf!? i know she has her options about me, and i know she talks to maryola about me to maryola. and then maryola, as she did today let it slip.
its so fucking up. 
 
and it makes me feel like shit. end of storyo!

HAha. i always sit on the computer alll hours of the night. and always think to myself, "i should be blogging. or at lest writting somethinggg in my live jornal". 

i never do.

so here i am.
  i always think "in my head" that i have all these amazing things to say. but when i acaully go to type , i cant even think of a good SEBJECT.  
  i sit there awhile. and be like..'oh i'll type a music lyric!'. but now i just relized how teenage and emo that is.
well. i guess i didnt relize, i always knew...
but who the fuck cares. i've been up since 6pm, doing nothing but being on the computer, and i'm listening to My Chemical Romance. who cares ifpeople judge me. 
no one reads my live journal anyways. lol.


the last month of my life has been sorta weird. not AS boirng as the ones before now. 
i feel like i'm wasting time, but STILL wast time.
as before, it was like, i'm wasting time, but i dont care. lol

right now i just wanna go awaaay. from sodak. i'm just so over it. 

 i was just being on ONTD. and like read this whole thing in life and style about DRUGS in hollywood.


it had like 5 pictures of celibs smoking weed! it made me mad.

Last Monday i had to go to court for "injuestion" weed. lol. it was so fucking scary. and i felt like omgz bits,you're in trouble.
but now i feel diffrent about it.
like, all these stupid college guys that are in there for getting a fucking dui. have to pay 100 bucks.
i, had to pay 400. how is that fair?
its messed up. because like, i think weed and drinking are pretty much on the same leve. 
and drinking makes you more crazy then weed ever will.
its just sad and messed up.

slfkjaslfkjsfdljk.


i wish i could sleep.

Britney In Control